Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
