Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
