You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
