Fine. I'll sleep in my office
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
