Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
