He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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