he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
