five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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