hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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