you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
