she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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