Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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