i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
