and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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