just come out here and I will go home with you...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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