I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
