Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
