You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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