If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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