Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize