Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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