True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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