white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
