I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
