Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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