She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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