It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
