Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
another moral hangover. fuck.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
