I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
