i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The uberlube is also flammable
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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