tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
