I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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