Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
