K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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