Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
