i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
