I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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