Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How does one acquire holy water?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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