I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
