Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
