There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
