You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My vagina is very pro this idea
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