i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
porn star boner night. come get it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
