Are we in a gay sports bar?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
