pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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