i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
