i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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