I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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