the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
