weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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