you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
