we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
