I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
