Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
