is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
