4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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