Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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