im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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