Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think my moral compass just broke
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
