Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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