i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
