I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
