if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize