Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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