actually, I'm a sock model
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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