You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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